Disarming polarization - and how a single question changed the mood
THINK. This week, I gave up trying NOT to think about polarization. Instead, I sought to explore this peculiar phenomenon. Here are a few nuggets that stuck with me.
People are strongly biased to learn from prestigious, in-group, moral and emotional information (research of dr William Brady), PRIME. As such, the learning is efficient as it comes from somebody who is seen as successful and behaviour can be copied; it is aligned with values of the group, and sanctioning moral ground helps sustain the community. So far so good.
What we are noticing now however are social media algorithms amplifying morally outraging, emotional content from fictitiously prestigious accounts to increase engagement (and keep us on our screens a little longer). As a result, the social learning has an external agent now, whose objectives are situated in a completely different dimension of shareholder value creation. Yet, the impact on beliefs seems to be real.
Morally outraging content is proven to generate greater engagement. A mixture of confirmation bias and guilt (!), it tends to lead to people perceiving deeper than actual divides, up to dehumanizing the opposite side. What is fascinating yet scary, these divides impact the moderates the most, pulling them to sides.
In contrast to the doom and gloom of overpowering social media machine, I found an encouraging example in the work of Story Corp and their One Small Step project. It all starts from a conversation, interview, or a debate. All that needs to be in place is open mind, basic respect, and a dash of curiosity to discover what people on different sides of a divide have in common, rather than what makes their views different. Usually, it comes down to some foundational values and beliefs.
It all sounds so easy, but can you recall a recent situation when you truly wanted to understand THE WHY of the other side, instead of telling them why they are wrong? So powerful once you cross that divide!
FEEL. As social animals, we thrive in communication. I am fascinated by the power of semantics, and how sometimes what we say (and how we say it) turns the emotions in split second. Both ways, by the way.
In my corporate job, I am lucky to be part of the team that enjoys working together, has a lot of respect and kindness for each other. This spirit has been forged over the years but it's ours to keep now. We balance serious conversations with fun, but also look out for signals of emotional strain in one another. We genuinely care.
And this is why magic happens. Friday afternoon is a perfect time to catch up. And let's be very honest - most people could fill such space venting, wearing badge of honour for the most demanding / difficult / stressful assignment in the business, describing all the hardships in vivid detail. And so could we. But that Friday, we decided to change the conversation (well, after a little while of that). A single question unlocked an exhilaratingly positive mood. Single, simple, and powerful. We all left the conversation in much better spirit. Do you want to hear the question?
What was a one positive thing that happened in your life this week?
DO. My chronotype is 'definitely a morning person'. When I am stressed and overwhelmed, I tend to wake up early and default into "I have so much to do, here is where I start, that is what I do next etc.". While it helps organize life on weekdays, the same mode on the weekends is somewhat draining.
I tried a new technique. Instead of switching on coffee maker, powering on my laptop, and going through my diary for the week and the 'to do' app, I made some jasmine tea and sat down on the sofa with the book I was dying to read. Trying to do that in the evening usually ends with my eyelids getting heavier by the minute. 15 minutes in - tops - my brain waves a white flag.
Not only was I able to focus and enjoy the narrative. It also eased me into the day with lightness and grace. You should try that sometime.
