Hypnic jerk
Did you ever have a feeling of physically falling into abyss just when you are falling into sleep? It is called 'hypnic jerk'. In a state in-between, the body muscles begin to relax, and the brain falsely interprets it as true falling, and contracts the muscles in a protective response. We usually recognize we have been falling, and now we are not, and slide back into sleep.
The world in 2025 feels like a gigantic hypnic jerk to me. Here is why.
THINK. Among many reasons to play board games, I particularly enjoy the social element. Benign banter. Seeing aspects of one's friends' personalities that normally stay hidden - how they become combative, envious, hesitant, or careless. The play has at least two dimensions: how to adopt some best strategies within a game rulebook to win, and how to explore, test and finally, reinforce relationships. Well, that is when one is expecting a positive outcome.
'Settlers of Catan' has been that game for us for many years. A two-page set of rules. A good balance of strategy and randomness. The play centred around developing an empire in a zero-sum game. Ability to conduct negotiations, form alliances, make some strategic bets. All of that in a cloud of vivid chatter and friendly rivalry. And one more. The belief that when the game ends, world is back to centre point.
Acknowledging I am speaking from a point of privilege, it does not feel like the world we are living in right now. I don't think anyone still believes in Fukuyama's 'End of History', high moral grounds of democracies, or self-regulating, fair marketplace. Politics, the art of disguising personal powerplays as representation of rationality and merit, has never been free of manipulation, but with the instantaneous dissemination of headlines its collateral damage has grown exponentially. It so reminds me of a toddler who just learnt how to crawl. You literally cannot take eyes of them for few seconds, as you might as well find them chewing on a power cord or spilling bleach all over food. Sounds familiar?
As much as I try to contain worry over areas I don't control, I find it hard to grasp the dilemma of this 'gradual, and then sudden' serious of raptures: wars (not a new event), tariffs (happened before), economic distress (arguably the quality-of-life standards have never been better) or culture wars. Why this and why now?
In 'Settlers of Catan' players can choose to break the rules or even knock over the table. They may enjoy cruelties, inflict excessive stress on others, deny a perfectly reasonable proposal. What they leave in their wake are broken trust and damaged relationships. It only takes a moment to set the house on fire.
FEEL. Is reading purely an intellectual exercise or both heart and mind phenomenon? For some, every day is a world book day, and the answer really does not matter much.
A recent mentoring conversation led me to why I read (fiction, not emails and news). It is a feeling of leaving my life and immersing in another world. It activates thoughts and feelings I might otherwise not come across, or even actively avoid. It breaks the patterns. Language conceives reality. Words make worlds.
There is a fine line between being curious of the narrative and being led by it. When I read fiction, I purposefully apply my curiosity of somebody else's emotional landscape, I stop and start again, the thoughts wander. I consume the range of threads left for me by an author, but by choice I allow myself for it. I am not consumed.
It strikes me how often what I remember about the story is not the settings and the plot, but how it made me feel.
DO. After a week of singlehandedly managing our household while my wife was away for work, I have rediscovered the power of rhythms. Once again, I also reflected on luck and privilege of a support ecosystem we have nurtured and reinforced as a family. I am convinced that is has given me both boost and a safety cushion, and that I would not be where I am without love and support from my partner.
The rhythms, small rituals we are all embracing, create another layer of togetherness. Our most recent favourite evening pastime is a comedy show 'Modern Family'. In addition to stress relief by laughter, one of the world's simplest and free treatments, we sometimes use it as a pretext to discuss emotions, relationships, and social context. Reflecting in the lives of others in a light setting is a great stepping stone to real conversations.
PS. Don't forget to tell people who are there to support you how grateful you are.
